by Cary H. Chenery, M.Ed.,CCC-SLP

I remember waiting for my daughter’s first words. After her first birthday I anxiously awaited those first words, even though I knew that children typically start to say single words between 12-18 months.

Waiting for your child’s first words can be stressful. Or, if the first words have arrived but her vocabulary is developing more slowly than you’d expect, this can be anxiety producing too! You may be asking yourself “is there anything I can do to speed this along?”. 

First, if you’re ever worried about your child’s speech and language development, it’s a good idea to consult a speech-language pathologist. He or she can assess your child’s language skills and determine if there is a delay. 

Secondly, there are techniques that you can start using right now to help stimulate your child’s language skills! 

Interpret, Model, Repeat

Even if your child is not saying many words, he is likely communicating many things to you. Talking isn’t the only way adults communicate–we use facial expressions, gestures, and sounds. This is no different for toddlers. When your child is reaching towards a jar of snacks on the counter and vocalizing, he’s telling you “I want that!”. When he brings you a container he can’t open, he’s telling you “help me”. When she kicks at her shoes as you try to put them on, she’s telling you “no!”. 

When your child communicates with you through a gesture, facial expression, or even ‘bad’ behavior, try to interpret their nonverbal communication. What are they telling you? How could you say this using 1-2 words? Then, model (demonstrate) how they could use verbal language to express themselves. 

CHILD: presses her face to the storm door and bangs on it, then looks at you.

ADULT (understanding that she’s telling you she wants to go outside): “Oh–you wanted to go outside! Out! (pausing–then opening the door) Out! (pausing) Let’s go out! We’re out!

Notice that in this example the adult is repeating the “target” word (“out”) many times, and pausing to give the child a chance to repeat it. 

Keep it Short

Though it’s important for our children to be exposed to adult sentences, grammar forms, etc., when we are modeling language (that is, showing our children how to use specific words or phrases), we want to be careful to model a word/phrase that is realistically attainable for them to say. 

In the example above, it would be unrealistic to expect a child who is not yet speaking to use a phrase like “Let’s go outside now please”. That’s why we always model language that is either at the child’s current language level or one step above. As in the example, you can always pair these short words and phrases with longer ones if you would like. If your child is currently using single words (e.g. if the child at the door looks at mom and says “out”), your model may be a two-word phrase (“go out!”). 

No Demands, Just Opportunities

It may seem counterintuitive, but we want to avoid telling our child to “say         .” If you have kids, have ever been a kid, or have ever met a kid, you know that telling a child to do something often backfires. Especially for a child who is new to talking, this request can feel like a demand. 

He or she can feel put on the spot, which often negatively affects a child’s ability to imitate words. We want to give kids lots and lots of opportunities to use words or to repeat us, while avoiding directly telling them to do so. “Then how do we get them to repeat us?!” you ask? The answer is much simpler than you’d imagine. 

THE Pause

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, my very favorite language strategy, The Pause. That’s right, instead of telling your child what to say, you model the word for them in an enthusiastic way and then you…wait. I like to think about this as “engaged” or “expectant” waiting. You lean towards the child, make an expectant face, and count slowly to five mississippi in your head. 

Trust me, this will seem like an eternity. If your child doesn’t attempt to say the words you just modeled (in this example, “Out”), go through this model-pause routine one more time. If they attempt the word, no matter how it sounds, offer very specific positive reinforcement (“Out! I heard you say ‘out’! Let’s go out!”)! If they still don’t imitate you, don’t worry! Move on, and remember, children need to be exposed to words many, many times before they will say them. Think of this interaction as ‘money in the bank’! 

Disrupt Routines

Now that you’ve met The Pause, let’s talk about some other fun ways to use it. Let’s think about routines. A routine is anything that you do frequently enough that your child knows “what comes next”. This can be a routine in the conventional sense (e.g. a bath or bedtime routine) or even singing a song (if the child has heard it enough to be familiar with the words). 

If you disrupt a routine, (for example, give him his cereal without a spoon, put shoes on the wrong feet, etc.) you create a great opportunity for communication. Try interrupting one of these routines and then waiting, expectantly. For example, when singing a favorite song, stop and pause when you get to the last word (e.g. “Twinkle, twinkle, little…”). Turn the bathwater off after only filling the tub an inch and wait, looking expectantly at your child. You may have to model a single or two-word phrase for them, but use your principles of pausing (e.g. waiting five seconds) after your model. 

Check out future blog posts for ways to incorporate these strategies into play and reading activities! For more ideas, or to consult with one of our Speech-Language Pathologists about your child’s communication skills, please contact our center. [email protected] or call (434) 298-4599.